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Osawatomie – A Message From President Obama’s Campaign Manager, Jim Messina

 Political Humor, Satire, Submitted Article  No Responses »
Dec 082011
 

 

By SnakeArbusto

(Jim, I appreciate your e-mails as always. I don’t always have time to pass them along to my friends and acquaintances, but this one is so important that I took the time to post it here – and I’ve added a few clarifications of my own as my contribution to the campaign.)

Friend –

If you didn’t catch any of the President’s speech in Osawatomie, Kansas, you should watch or read it now:

http://my.barackobama.com/Fair-Shot6a

President Obama laid out an approach to rebuilding the economy that will inform every discussion we have with undecided voters over the next year. So we put together a highlight reel you can share with anyone you think needs to hear this message:

http://my.barackobama.com/Fair-Shot6

This is a make-or-break moment for the middle class. And we need to make sure that what is left of the middle class believes that we are acting in their interests.

Our country is still recovering from the greatest economic and financial crisis since the Great Depression – to which the Bush Jr. administration, with the President’s approving vote, contributed by giving trillions of dollars of your money to banks. And when he took office the President put more or less the same people responsible for the financial crisis, the beneficiaries of that unprecedented transfer of public funds to the private sector, in charge of the Treasury Department.

Oh, he believes that Americans should be able to earn enough to raise a family, send their kids to school, own a home, and secure their retirement – so long as in struggling harder and harder to achieve those things, they continue to let the private sector drain off the products of their labor.

Here’s how he put it: “This country succeeds when everyone gets a fair shot, when everyone does their fair share, and when everyone plays by the same rules. These aren’t Democratic values or Republican values. These aren’t 1 percent values or 99 percent values. They’re American values. And we have to reclaim them.”

Those are the values we want you to believe we’re fighting for in this election. And believe me, no matter who our opponent is, he or she won’t fight for them any more than we will — the candidates from both sides want to let Wall Street write its own rules and keep the country’s wealth – the wealth all of you create by working and by spending – concentrated in the hands of a tiny elite, the millionaires and billionaires. And as anyone who understands these things the way we do knows, we must continue to concentrate that wealth. That is simply how the system works.

We’ve seen how that kind of economic plan plays out. We Democrats have been part of the problem. We’ve participated in the plan all along. We’re just a bit more clever than the Republicans are at portraying ourselves as politicians who have the interests of working people at heart. As President Obama said yesterday: “It doesn’t work. It has never worked. It didn’t work when it was tried in the decade before the Great Depression … And it didn’t work when we tried it during the last decade.”

That’s the message we’ll need to drive home in our communities over the next several months – that the “other side,” our “opponents,” are responsible for the war against the “middle class.” Keep harping on that idea of the “middle class,” and try to keep people’s attention away from the fact that what was the largest and most comfortable middle class in history is quickly becoming what history has destined it to be: an impoverished class living on the edge of dispossession and willing to do almost anything to survive. That is how the system works.

Because just as surely, as the President said in his Nobel Prize acceptance speech, as we will never be able to end war in anyone’s lifetime, we will never be able to end domination and the poverty and suffering it brings. But what we can do is to try to put a kindler, gentler face on it.

So join us. Help us cover up the contradictions of our position: Ignore the fact that with the wealth you allow us to accumulate, we continue to extend the most destructive military-diplomatic machine the world has ever seen, and that the domination of which that machine is the instrument is depriving people just like you all over the planet of the opportunity to earn enough to raise a family, send their kids to school, own a home, and so on. There is just no other way. Join us. Do it for yourselves, but also for your families, your children, and their children… Watch the video we put together — and pass it along:

http://my.barackobama.com/Fair-Shot6

Thanks,

**********
Campaign Manager
Obama for America

 Posted by greydog at 1:14 PM

Forget the Occupy Movement – WHY I’M JOINING THE ONE PERCENT

 Political Humor, Submitted Article  No Responses »
Dec 012011
 

 

by BRIAN J. FOLEY

I marched with Occupy Oakland last Saturday, but I’ve had a change of heart. I’m joining the One Percent.

I marched with Occupy Oakland last Saturday, but I’ve had a change of heart. I’m joining the One Percent.

The One Percent have fun. They have jobs and money.  Or just money, because when you have a lot of money, you don’t need to work. They live in houses, not tents.

The One Percent have a government that actually  listens to them.  Lockheed needs a war to sell goods and services? Coming right up! Former Homeland Security Head Michael Chertoff wants to sell some porno-scanners? Get in (a very short) line –  or no line at all if you’ve bought that exemption from TSA screening!  Taxes too high? The One Percent’s government will lower them for the rich. Too many 99 Percenters declaring bankruptcy? The One Percent’s government will just make it harder for them.  Bought toxic, mortgage-backed derivatives? Don’t worry, your government will bail you out if you’re in the One Percent.  Bought a toxic mortgage? It’s your “responsibility,” if you’re in the 99 Percent.

Another reason to join the One Percent is that the One Percent have their own media mouthpiece — more like a bullhorn.  The One Percent funded those meager Tea Party protests, and the One-Percent-owned Media covered them religiously.  And I mean religiously: the media proclaim stuff about the movement that defies reality, such as how The Tea Party was a really big, grass roots, populist movement, and that it wasn’t racist.  The Tea Party hate Obama for his “socialist” policies, not his skin color.

I also like how the One Percent-owned media have covered the Occupy movement. They treat the Occupiers as oddities, like circus animals — Cirque du So What?  Paid-off pundits talk about the First Amendment with the “No way, this archaic language can’t really stop OUR OMNIPOTENT GOVERNMENT from doing what it wants, can it?” To find out if the New York City Police honored Occupiers’ First Amendment rights, CNN asked … a former New York City Police Commissioner, who assured viewers that the New York City Police honored those rights (ridiculous and so-pre-9/11 as those rights may seem!).

The One Percent don’t have school loans or credit card debt. When they get into financial trouble, they get bailed out by the Big Government they claim to hate.  They get saved and protected from The Market they claim to love.  They changed the rules that kept their businesses from getting too big, and when they ended up failing, they got deemed “too big to fail.”  And at the same time, the One Percent get to say they are looking out for “the little guy” on Main Street!  Unlike they Occupiers, they get to say that without getting their mouths, eyes, and nostrils filled with pepper spray.

And no one ever dares call the One Percent “traitors,” “anti-American,” etc.  No, they’re “patriots” who ask what their government can do for them,  not what they can do for their government.  No one ever says, “Bailing out Banks to save us from socialism is like f—ing to save virginity.”  That would be rude, and no one is rude or even slightly impolite to the One Percent.

Except the Occupiers, who get battered by police for their rudeness.  In fact, the One Percent get to have police beat down Occupy protesters and pepper-spray them for no reason, and without fear of getting into trouble.   Police pepper-spray defenseless students in front of hundreds of out-in-the-open cameras. Lesson: If you can’t join the One Percent, you should at least work for them.

If an Occupier ever tried to defend himself and/or toted a gun, police would shoot him to death.  But Tea Party guys get to bring their guns to protests and to make not-so-vague allusions to shooting President Obama.  They never had to worry about copscrushing their skulls or pepper spraying them!

So I’m joining the One Percent.  A friend said I’d regret joining and quoted Three Dog Night, who sang that one is the loneliest number.  No, it’s not, not when you’ve bought off the government and the news media.  In the United States, 2 + 2 = 5, and 1 > 99.

Brian J. Foley is a law professor and comedian and author of  A New Financial You in 28 Days! A 37-Day Plan.

 Posted by greydog at 10:03 AM  Tagged with: Political humor

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